Finding stillness. How becoming a grandma is teaching me about presence, emotion, and the art of simply being.
Natalie holds her granddaughter’s hand.
There are moments that arrive quietly - no fanfare, no announcement - and yet they change everything. For me, one of those moments came at the end of April, with the weight of something impossibly light: my granddaughter, curled into my arms, barely bigger than a breath.
In that stillness, everything else faded. No to-do lists, no opinions to share, no wisdom to offer. Just presence. Just this. The moment was fleeting - I could feel it slipping through even as I tried to hold it. But that’s what made it sacred.
And it reminded me of something I spend so much time teaching others but often forget myself: how vital it is to slow down enough to feel our lives as we’re living them.
The sacred pause
In that quiet moment, holding her, something shifted in me. Not dramatically, not in a fireworks kind of way - but in the way still water reflects light. Clear. Uncomplicated. True.
This is what stillness does. It quiets the noise that gets in the way - the noise of “what’s next,” “what should I be doing,” “how do I keep up.” I wasn’t thinking about work, or how well I was “managing my emotions.” I was just there. Breathing in time with her. Letting the moment be enough.
“Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating an emotional clearing to see what’s really there.”
And in that space, I could feel everything more clearly - not in a dramatic or overwhelming way, but simply with presence. That’s the gift of tuning in to stillness. It’s not a retreat from life - it’s life, undistracted.
We often speak about emotional intelligence in terms of managing ourselves, responding wisely, understanding others. But at its core, it’s about this: the ability to feel our lives as we live them. To be awake to what is happening - inside and around us - without needing to fix, perform, or rush.
Why slowing down matters
Women, in particular, are often socialised to stay in motion - to hold it all together, anticipate everyone’s needs, make it look easy. Even our self-care can feel like another item on the list.
But what I’m learning - slowly, stubbornly, softly - is that slowing down isn’t indulgent. It’s necessary. It’s where I can hear myself think, feel what I’m actually feeling, and reconnect with what matters most.
In a world that moves fast, that expects women to be endlessly responsive and emotionally available to others, stillness becomes a radical kind of presence. It allows us to be with ourselves, not just as caregivers or professionals or partners - but as people. As women with inner lives that deserve attention.
“Stillness can be found in the ordinary… The quiet before everyone else wakes up, a warm cup of tea that you actually taste.”
A moment within a moment
As I held my granddaughter, something unexpected happened - I was suddenly 28 years back in time, cradling her mother - my daughter - for the first time. The same curve of tiny fingers, the same deep exhale of trust against my chest. The same overwhelming mix of wonder and responsibility.
It was like time folded in on itself. In holding this new life, I was also - profoundly - holding the memory of becoming a mother. And in some quiet, wordless way, I was holding my daughter, too - not just as a baby, but now as a woman stepping into her own motherhood.
“Emotional presence isn’t only about noticing what’s happening now. It’s also about making space for everything that moment carries - the layers of meaning, the echoes of memory, the quiet recognition that life moves fast but leaves soft traces.”
There was something deeply healing in that moment. It reminded me that emotional presence isn’t only about noticing what’s happening now. It’s also about making space for everything that moment carries - the layers of meaning, the echoes of memory, the quiet recognition that life moves fast but leaves soft traces.
There is grace in that moment. Grace in knowing: I showed up then. Grace in knowing: I can show up now - not to fix or guide, but to be with. To bear witness.
Cultivating presence in the everyday
Presence doesn’t require a life-altering moment. You don’t need to be holding a newborn to touch stillness. It can happen in the ordinary:
The quiet before everyone else wakes up.
A warm cup of tea that you actually taste.
The way light moves across a room while you're folding laundry.
That instinct to place a hand on your own heart when you're feeling full - or fragile.
These are not insignificant. They are the practice ground. Every time we pause long enough to notice - to tune in, to breathe, to really feel - we stretch the muscles of emotional awareness. We create just a little more room between stimulus and response. A little more space to choose how we meet the moment.
This is where emotional intelligence deepens. Not in grand insights, but in everyday moments where we feel instead of flee, notice instead of numb, stay instead of rush.
A note from Natalie…
So here’s my gentle question to you: Where might you be rushing past your own life? What moment are you living through that you might instead live in?
You don’t need to fix everything. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to pause. Begin by noticing. Let one ordinary moment be enough. Let stillness speak.
Because emotional intelligence isn’t only about understanding others. It begins with being present to yourself - to the truth of what you feel, the beauty of what you’re living, and the wisdom that often arrives only when we’re quiet enough to hear it.
With you in the stillness,
Natalie Kenely
About the author
Hi, I’m Natalie - a social worker by profession, a senior lecturer by trade, a writer by passion, and most recently, a grandmother (which might be my favourite title yet). I work in the world of emotional intelligence, not from a distance but from within it - through lived experience, professional practice, and everyday moments that continue to teach me. Thanks for reading - I’m glad you’re here.
You can follow Natalie Kenely on LinkedIn.
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